Now that I’ve used Scrivener I can definitely say that it’s great and I love using it. (A fuller review will come, as soon as the story I was writing it for is taken off hold.) I don’t know that I would switch to a Mac for it. I like my netbook, for one thing. And I don’t have money to spend on a $1,000+ computer for just one purpose.

There is another alternative, though. You could always turn a netbook into a Mac.

How, you ask? Hackintoshing! This age-old process of fiddling with OS X until it will install on a non-Apple system wasn’t invented for netbooks, but has definitely found a slew of new adherents in the past couple of years. And since Apple is determined not to give the people what they want, the people will have to get it themselves.

Used to be that Hackintoshing required a lot of dedication, forum-lurking, and some soldering skills. But a new website called MyMacNetbook aims to make the process a bit less opaque. Right now there are a few step-by-step guides for some systems, but the real goodies lurk in the compatitility chart. This is where you’ll find a long list of netbooks and the hardware features that work with OS X out of the box. You’ll note that the MSI Wind is about the perfect hackintoshing netbook.

Writers who’re jonesing for some Scrivener but don’t have the money for a Mac but do have the money for a netbook, this is your best bet. And if you’re a Mac lover who longs for the portability of the 10-inch form factor, now you don’t have to pine (or settle for an iPad). Many of the netbooks that work without too much fiddling are older, so you can probably find them at a deep discount these days.

Thanks to all of you who answered my call (and a bunch of other techy, geeky, engineer-y women out there) Mattel was so overwhelmed with votes for Barbie as Computer Engineer that they made her alongside the historic 125th career: News Anchor. I think computer techs are far more awesome than news people, unless that newsperson is Rachel Maddow. But I digress.

Computer Engineer Barbie comes with a laptop, smartphone, Bluetooth headset and a fancy bag to carry her laptop in. Awesome, right? No pink cable, though. Boo. Her shirt has binary code on it, though!

Over at LAPTOP’s blog we’re asking folks to tell us what notebook you think Barbie is carrying. To write that post I had to research pink laptops. And I discovered that there’s such a thing as the Pink Laptop Blog. Yes.

Anyway, I will get a chance to see this doll in person soon as I’m covering ToyFair for the magazine. Usually we go there in search of tech toys but I think a profile of this Barbie is in order, don’t you? I’m actually looking forward to the fair a lot. I still love toys and I’m looking forward to seeing what crazy shapes USB drives are coming in this year.

However, a small minority of people I encountered didn’t understand why iPad immediately brought to mind maxipads. They pointed out that people use words like mousepad and notepad and even the phrase pad of paper every day without devolving into absorbancy jokes. So why is iPad funny? Having given this far, far too much thought, I’ve been able to identify three key reasons why I think it’s happening.

1. As the MADtv skit showed, it’s long been funny to put the little i in front of words to make fun of Apple’s naming conventions. Sure, Apple has been very successful in branding the iProducts, and that’s part of why the jokes work. iPad seems like it should be a joke even though it’s not.
2. Pad is a weak word. Just say it out loud: paaaaaad. That long a doesn’t help. Most other iProducts have pretty strong words after the little i. Pod, Mac, Work, Life. They have plosives and hard K sounds and short vowels. Pad needs words associated with it that sound strong or right in order to blend seamlessly into the vocabulary. Mousepad, Trackpad, Notepad, even CrunchPad. And though women refer to Always and etc. as just pads most of the time, that’s shorthand. The full word is Maxipad. There are just some words in English that sound somewhat weak on their own, and Pad is one of them. A weak word like this cannot support the little i, therefore the name (regardless of the jokes) just doesn’t feel strong or desirable.
3. Regardless of the many other uses of the term pad, most of the time when someone asks for a pad they’re asking for a maxipad unless in context it makes far more sense that they’re asking for a pad of paper. Other than that, how many times have you used the word pad all by itself in normal conversation in a non-specialized context^[1]? The little i is not the most important aspect of iPad, it’s so ubiquitous and familiar that, even as we say it, our minds and tongues are gliding right over it to the real word on the other side: Phone, Pod, Mac, Life, Work. That is the whole point of the little i. Therefore, the iPad is just basically Pad, and pads bring very few specific images to most American minds, and one of the prominent ones happens to be maxipads.

So there you have it. This is why I think the iPad name instantly became the butt of jokes or at least disappointment. Apple has some strong reasons for choosing iPad I am sure. I’m also sure they have some smart branding people whose job it is to think about these things. Maybe they had an off day? Maybe they’re all men. Maybe they thought that eventually people would stop tittering and just accept it, because none of the alternatives worked for whatever reason.

In the end, it doesn’t matter much. They’ve gone with iPad and have to stick with it. And we’ll have to live with it. As others have pointed out, the Wii encountered much the same reception upon release and, lo these many years later, we’ve all gotten used to it (or over it) and happily use them all the time. I’m sure the same will happen with the iPad. Still, I’m longing for a decal that I can stick on the back to turn my iPad into a maxiPad.

Notes

1. i.e. it doesn’t count if your workplace uses something called a pad for everyday workplace operations. It also doesn’t count if you roleplay Star Trek on a regular basis.

First we had the JooJoo, which inspired a rash of ethnic jokes best left unsaid. Now comes the iPad, which has already been subjected to various feminine hygiene jokes with more still to come.

Was iSlate not sexy enough? Did iTablet not occur to anyone? One thing is for sure, there probably weren’t too many women involved in the development of that tablet, as they would have pointed out the consequences long ago.

Which moniker do you think is worse, JooJoo or iPad? Vote in the poll below (you may have to click the permalink, depending on where you’re reading this). If you’re a comedian, you should probably choose which one is best for you.

On a related note, kudos to MADtv for making what is likely the very first iPad joke over two years ago:

Click here to view the embedded video.

He even has the same netbook I do, a Samsung NC10. Yet he still feels that the portability and usability of an AlphaSmart is far, far better. He also cites battery longevity. Though I’ll agree that years of battery life is better than a few hours, ever since I got my NC10 I haven’t felt chained to an outlet. (It’s the 7+ hours of battery life, I love it, so.) And while it is great to have a machine that allows you to concentrate on just one thing, writing, the device is just a little too unitasking for me.

One of the reasons I stopped using my AlphaSmart is that it was crap for editing. Sure, it would allow you to get some words down on the screen and drive forward. However, you certainly can’t edit really well on that thing, or go back through what you’ve written and try to take stock in a meaningful way. And only seeing 4 lines of text at a time felt like far too little. You can’t edit already-existing text. And if you’ve typed a major chunk of your novel on the thing, good luck trying to get a sense of the structure.

Not that Marko claimed the Neo could do any of these things. These were just my reasons for giving the machine up. I needed a gadget that would allow me to do all of my writing tasks, from the first draft through to the editing stage, that was easy to carry, light, and had a reasonably-sized screen. Aftre I accomplished that with my Eee PC, my next goal was a netbok with long battery life so I wouldn’t have to worry about outlets. And here were are.

Having read through his whole review, though, do you think that the Neo has enough advantages over a netbook to justify putting the latter aside?

If you’re looking for a netbook, these are the ones I suggest:

10-inch Netbooks

Samsung N Series

I actually own a Samsung NC10^[1] — after playing with dozens of netbooks for months, this is the one I chose to take home forever. I love it. It has a great keyboard and screen and lasts a long time and weighs less than 3 pounds so I can easily carry it with me everywhere. N Series netbooks are usually good, but this is one of three that I particularly recommend.

Since Samsung released the NC10 last year they’ve put out a couple of updates. The first was the N110 — it has a slicker case, a larger touchpad, and a higher capacity battery that lasts over 7 hours (the regular NC10 lasts 6.5). Sadly, it also has a glossy screen, which is a problem for some people. Recently Samsung brought the N140 to the US^[2], which again has a slightly different case and design and is more powerful. Weirdly, it has the same battery as the NC10, so it only gets 6.5 hours. But this is plenty for most people. Plus, it has a matte screen and Windows 7.

All of these netbooks have great keyboards, which is one of the most important factors, and long battery lives, which is the other most important factor. You’re not going to get stellar performance with most netbooks, but none of these are pokey or frustrating to use.

So, which one should you get? I advise getting the N110 because it has the longest battery life. And now that the N140 is out, you’re bound to find it for less than $400, maybe even less than $350. If you’re on a tighter budget, go looking for the NC10 as it is likely to be even less. As long as you can get the NC10 or N110, I say the N140 isn’t strictly necessary. But once those are gone, the N140 isn’t a bad choice at all.

I would not rec the N130, Samsung’s “value” netbook. It is pokey and only lasts 4 hours and 44 minutes on a charge. I am also not that fond of the Samsung GO.

Toshiba mini NB205

Most people at LAPTOP really, really like this netbook. And I will say that it’s quite snazzy looking. Plus, it lasts 8.8 – 9.25 hours on a charge, depending on which model you get. The reason I am not as gung-ho on it is that I am not a huge fan of island-style keys. The keyboard on the NB205 is good, though, and if you like that type of key then go for it. It performs well, looks good, and lasts a long time.

When buying an NB205, keep a few things in mind. Toshiba put out a bunch of different model numbers for this netbook, so when you go to their site or Amazon or something, you’ll see about half a dozen different machines with names like NB205-N210 or NB205-N330BL or whatever. Sometimes I wonder if companies are out to confuse us purposefully.

The difference between the N2** models and the N3** models is the keyboard. The N3** models have the island-style keyboard and the N2** ones have a standard keyboard. I didn’t get a chance to try the standard keyboard, so I can’t say whether it’s better or worse. But all of my colleagues seem to think the island-style keyboard is superior.

Another thing to look out for when purchasing is if the model has Windows 7 or XP. The XP model should be a bit cheaper and it gets longer battery life, so I would suggest going for that.

When searching for this netbook on Amazon be careful you’re looking at the model # you want. On some pages if you change the color it will give you a completely different model, not the same model but in black or whatever. So check the specs and do a bit of hunting around. Like I said, XP is better and the model #s that start with NB205-N3** are what you’re looking for. Here’s a helpful Amazon link for you.

11.6 Inch Systems

Most people who ask are in the market for a 10-inch system. That’s my favorite size as well, so that’s usually what I recommend. But some folks like to have a bigger screen and 11.6-inch netbooks are all the rage these days. I have two recs in this category and one of them isn’t even really a netbook.

HP Mini 311

If you’re going to get an 11-inch system, you might as well get one that has some oomph. The Mini 311 has something most netbooks don’t: a discrete graphics chip. For those of you who have no clue what that even means or don’t care, this matters most when you’re doing two things: watching videos and playing games.

Netbooks can play Hulu, YouTube, etc. just fine. It isn’t the absolute best experience, but it’s also a 10-inch screen, so you’re not looking to recreate the cinema or anything. But the 311 is cool because it does smooth full screen video and HD video and, when the newest version of Flash comes out, can do full HD. You can also play games like Spore or WOW, though on the lowest quality, so you’ll have some fun in-between writing. The battery life is quite good for a system with a separate graphics card: 5 hours, 43 minutes. And the price is nice as well: starts at $399.

Acer Aspire 1410

Though this system is 11.6 inches and only $399, it’s not actually a netbook. It’s an ultraportable laptop. What’s the difference you ask? Performance. This notebook has a more powerful processor so it behaves more like a regular laptop. You won’t be able to do some major gaming or video editing or whatever on it. However, unlike a netbook, it isn’t going to slow down once five or six programs get going at once. Yet it’s still portable and light and inexpensive and lasts 6 and a half hours.

You won’t get the same graphics performance on this as on the Mini 311, but you will get good HD video playback and smooth full screen Hulu.

Those are my suggestions for anyone looking to get a netbook. There are many others out there and you can see very comprehensive reviews on LAPTOP Magazine’s website. But, after all these months, I haven’t come across a netbook that made me want to give up my Samsung NC10. The Toshiba is nice, just not my style. And I like these 11-inch systems, but the 10-inch form factor works best for me.

Hope this post helps those of you looking for a netbook. Feel free to ask me any questions in the comments, too.

Notes

1. Technically an NC10 Special Edition, which has a larger touchpad and better battery than the typical NC10
2. This is the netbook featured in that hilarious video a few months back with the model whose boyfriend dumped her before she got to Paris

Of course, I couldn’t bring the TARDIS in without some daleks showing up. You see the black one menacing my poor police box there. They’re lurking in many corners. See:

This one thinks he’s being crafty:

I also brought back my photos since they always bring a smile to my face. Cute kids will do that to you.

I’m trying to decide if my desk is geeky enough or if I need to add a Doctor action figure to round it all out.

New Moon

I am on pins and needles for the Twilight convertible tablet netbook and sprouts hair and grows to twice its size when you turn the screen around and close it over the keyboard.

Anyone who doesn’t get that reference: you’re a lucky sod and I envy you deeply.

The $700 price tag doesn’t excite me. Nothing over $500 ever does. If we ever get a 10-inch CULV notebook I would hope that the price would drop to that, at least. And then my poor Sammy netbook would be in a bit of danger.

Now that Acer has taken this step, I hope other computer manufacturers follow. If\Samsung updated their N line with CULV netbooks there would be no keeping me from the store.

As I said in my last post, I am definitely a netbook person when it comes to computers I carry around all the time and use anywhere. However, my needs and experience are not necessarily everyone’s. I can see the UL30 or other ultraportables being great machines for people who travel a great deal, folks going on extended trips (particularly abroad), and people with access to tables on their long commute.

Not everyone needs or wants to carry a laptop around all the time just in case you have a spare moment to write on them. Not everyone rides a cramped and crowded subway. I fall into the realm of Power User for netbooks, so what I need and do are on the extreme end of what mainstream consumers want.

That said, the UL30 came pretty close to being the kind of machine I want for a secondary computer. Perhaps if systems like this and with this price had come along before netbooks, I would be perfectly content. It has all the things I wished for back in the day. (The Day being 2 years ago. Sad, I know.)

I’m back to carrying my NC10 around now. Seshet missed me, I can tell. She always gets a little nervous when a new, cool netbook or notebook lands on my desk. However, I can say with some authority that I still think the Samsung NC10 (and its subsequent update the N110) is the best netbook I’ve ever tried. I’m glad I own one and I won’t be trading it for a fancy ultraportable any time soon.

The laptop does include a solution to that in the form of ExpressGate, ASUS’ instant-on OS. This boots up in about 10 – 15 seconds and from there you can access a web browser, Skype, music and pictures. The one thing I wish this instant-on had was a notepad or something so I could do some simple writing tasks (like these posts) without booting the full OS. I can’t access the web on the subway, so even being able to access GoogleDocs doesn’t do much for me.

Boot and wake time can be tweaked, like I said, so it’s not a tragedy.

Meanwhile, I’ve taken the system to several press events this week and it’s not as convenient for taking notes as my netbook. My NC10 wakes up pretty quickly and it’s easier to perch on the edge of a small table or my lap for notes. Of course, if I had a tablet it would be even easier, but we won’t get into that right now.

So again, I find myself wishing for my NC10 instead of the UL30. I do still really like this machine in general. It’s just not a netbook.

For me, this experience reinforces what I’ve always thought: though light and inexpensive 12 and 13 inch laptops have wonderful screen real-estate, when looking for a laptop to carry around with me everywhere at all times, the 9 and 10 inch sizes are better. Even 11.6 is more than I need.

But when it comes to power, I do find myself wishing that 10-inch netbooks came with CULV processors so that I could run more programs at once. Perhaps that will happen sometime in the near future. Or the new Intel Atom “Pine Trail” will provide the power I seek.

The subway is bad for lap typing because my lap slopes downward when I’m sitting. After trying to find a good solution I finally came up with the perfect combination. My ful messenger bag and the Cool-Lift. The ful is square and flat, so it makes a good, steady surface. The Cool-Lift corrects for the small amount of slope that would usually put it off balance, and the straps around my waist keep the whole thing secure. This is how I type with the NC10 and how I’m able to still write with the UL30.

I’m using the messenger/backpack convertible, which is also flat on the back, in the same way. The strap sits a bit differently on my back and I’ve had to do some adjustments with the Cool-Lift, but otherwise it’s a great setup.

I still find that I need more elbow room than I normally would and that using the trackpad is not quite effortless. I use two hands, which I am told is unusual. YMMV.

I think I’m ready to declare that my netbook is better for writing on the subway.  The UL30 isn’t bad or anything, but given the choice I would stick with my smaller laptop.

Firstly, I need more elbow room with the UL30 due to the bigger keyboard and the placement of the touchpad. Normally I’m not always hitting my neighbors but today I am. This is definitely less convenient for typing on a semi-crowded subway.

Sometimes when I don’t have a lot of elbow room I still get out my netbook and read a bit, but I don’t see myself doing that with the UL30. I’m sort of surprised at the difference the few inches make.

I might get better hang of it as the week goes on, so I’ll reserve final judgment for Friday.

I’ve discovered something about Central Park’s wireless: it doesn’t cover the whole park. It doesn’t even cover areas I would expect it to, like Strawberry Fields (lots of tourists taking pictures of the mosaic that spells Imagine) or the bandshell or along the length of the line for Shakespeare in the Park. Frustrating. Wireless should be ubiquitous, especially in public parks. Just thought I’d mention that.

After today’s errands, I came to the park again because I was promised more drumming and some house music. So here I am. Carrying the UL30 in my backpack has been much better than the messenger bag. This is definitely the way to go. However, I prefer messengers over backpacks because they give you much easier access to your stuff and are a bit more secure. Not being able to carry it with that style as comfortably as I do my NC10 is a mark against the UL30 for me. For folks who don’t walk around a city and take a subway everywhere, this might not be as big a deal.

I live in a walking city, so it’s sometimes hard to put myself in the mindset of people who mainly get around in cars. When is an ultraportable desireable for those folks? I would say if you travel a lot you don’t want a heavy laptop weighing you down. Or if you do much moving between locations during the day. College students or messengers or even people who work in office parks where the meeting is in a different building than your office/cubicle. In all of these cases, portability is a major factor. If you don’t have to walk 20 blocks, the UL30 in a briefcase or messenger is probably not going to phase you.

Tomorrow I will begin my working week, and that means the commuting test!

This machine is actually a perfect one for writers. It’s powerful enough to handle many programs open at once, unlike netbooks that get kinda slow after 4 or 5. The keyboard is full-size and easy to type on. It doesn’t have the spring I like best, but it doesn’t hinder typing in any way. The big screen is great for writing and editing. And it’s skinny and light enough to carry around all the time.

Well, I think it might be. So I’m putting that last part to the test. I’m leaving my Samsung NC10 at home for a week and carrying around the UL30, instead. This weekend I’m going to write with it. (More than blog posts, hopefully.) During the week I’ll write with it on the train, like I usually do.

Today I’m taking the UL30 to my favorite café in my neighborhood and then to Central Park to hunt for free Wi-Fi and a drum circle.

After that I ran a few errands and came down to Central Park. I’m not wearing my normal messenger bag because, by itself, it’s a little heavy. My NC10 doesn’t weigh me down, even in that, but the UL30 is 1.2 pounds more. You wouldn’t think that extra pound would make a big difference, but it does. My shoulder hurts a bit more than usual, but I don’t feel really weighed down the way I used to with my large screen laptop. Still, I can tell. Carrying this isn’t quite effortless.

The bag I’m using now is a bit smaller and lighter by itself. It also converts into a backpack, which is what you need when tech is straining your shoulder a bit. IN backpack mode I barely feel the weight.

Now I’m sitting by the bandstand enjoying the late summer evening and a group of excellent drummers. Earlier in the day the UL30 didn’t do that great with direct sunlight. The glossy screen is too reflective.

If you’re the type of person to sit and type in the dark, then you might not be down with the lack of backlit keys. I don’t usually type in the dark, so it’s less of a consideration for me. The light from the screen is plenty to see by.

Now I’m going to settle in for a little writing since that’s why I came out here in the first place. The UL30 is at 92% currently.

Today’s adventures are almost over. Once they kick me out of this place I’ll head home. Having carried the UL30 around all day, I can conceive doing so on a regular basis. I definitely felt it, but not yet so much that I’d rather leave it at home than take it with me just in case I can get some writing done. We’ll see how I feel at the end of next week.

The idea of a netbook as an accessory to your busy or even not-so-busy life is a fine one. But the Samsung promo video I posted over on LAPTOP’s blog today has me truly mystified.

Brad Linder claims that it’s supposed to highlight the netbook’s all-day longevity. Could have fooled me. All it seems to highlight is that model’s ability to stretch her lanky body and possibly to warn young ladies from trusting that their boyfriends will pick them up at the train station as promised. Seriously, go look (and please comment there, I am eager to watch you all apply your creative minds to the plot and message).

When I compare that video to this one Nokia did for their new netbook, I find myself much more drawn to the Booklet 3G. This video tells me what this device is, what it does, what makes it special, and even includes some heart-tugging music that somehow makes me want it even more.

But if we must have models, here’s what I’d like to see: women actually using netbooks in some way that shows off what netbooks are good for while providing the eye candy that someone is convinced consumers need. That way it appeals to those of us to buy tech for what it does and those of us who buy anything because hot women are peddling it.

Like the Transformers ones I pointed out the other week. Or these ones shaped like bombs (yes — but cartoon, round-ball bombs, not IEDs). Or any number of cute, toy-like USB drives which, can I point out, usually have lower capacity and a higher price. Like I said, they are the keychain toys of the new millennium.

There has to be a point at which the lack of storage space makes cute USB drives too useless ot bother with. The penguin one has added functionality and supports a good cause. Most cute drives don’t even offer those benefits. (Plus, I think I paid $20 for the last 16GB drive I bought and it was very simple to turn it into a bootable drive and install Linux distros from it.)

I can’t tell if I’m just being cranky and middle-aged or if this really is as silly as I see it. You decide!

On your PHONE? Someone asked with far, far too much emphasis.

Yes, on his phone. Tao proceeds to flip the screen up and, oh, look at that, a T-Mobile G1. If I wasn’t aware that this phone was called a G1, a shot of the back of it revealed G1 in huge white letters on the back of the screen. (I don’t think that exists in actual, real-life models of said phone. I could be wrong.)

There is some more waving the phone around. Chief Johnson wants to see this picture of the address (provided by Google Maps/Google Street View) for herself. She grabs at the phone, but Tao says, “Let me e-mail it to you.”

I think at this point someone actually exclaimed, again far too emphatically: E-MAIL!?

Yes, show, we get it. The G1 is a marvel. You can see maps on it and it can send e-mail. Woo.

I don’t usually mind product placement. I don’t know if most people even register the model of the laptops and other computer equipment TV people use. I do, usually because I find it funny or I’m scoffing. But man, this was a bit beyond.

So anyway, just so you know, the fake LAPD Major Crimes Squad prefers the T-Mobile G1 for finding pictures of suspects’ houses. And E-MAIL!?

I shall not be buying an iPhone because I dislike paying gobs of money for crappy service. I’ll pay a pittance for my crappy service, thank you.

I shall not be buying this Kingston $900 flash drive… yet. When it’s $100 I’m all over that.

Okay, I needed a third thing and that’s all I got.

Apple, please.

I realize that copy/paste is a new feature on the iPhone, but it’s not an “incredible” thing, it’s a thing that should have been included in the original iPhone. It’s not a complicated process, it’s a basic process. You can’t make people forget that it’s a basic function of most computers and smart phones by producing commercials like this. It will only make you look silly.

How about a commercial that says: Finally, we’ve added copy/paste to the iPhone since we knew you wanted it!

I’m sure the next commercial will be: The new iPhone will wow you with it’s ability to call any number in the U.S.! Wowee!